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SammyStock 2005! Day Five

Friday, January 7, 2005

So, I have honestly thought of retiring, just to keep the headline below this up for all eternity. Ryne Sandberg, Hall of Fame Second Baseman... its just got a nice ring to it.

Well, since I'm not retiring (I said I thought about it, just not all that long), its time to get this show on the road. So where were we? Oh yeah, Day Five...

Hey Hey, Cubs Fans! Welcome to SammyStock 2005! Where legitimacy isn't the concern... its just rumors, free, casual rumors, with whoever happens to be in the majors.

We've got a lot of great suitors out there, so lets get Rumor mongering! Yeah!

Lets Give it up for...

Eager to make a splash on the national scene, the new D.C. team needs a big name... and Sammy Sosa is just the man! Of course, there isn't much on the Expos roster. However after finishing off the tail end of the egg nog in his fridge, Jim Hendry gets a little woozy and sends Sammy and Todd Walker to D.C. in return for Jose Vidro, Termel Sledge, Francis Beltran, and Brendan Harris.

After failing to secure Carlos Beltran and Carlos Delgado, the Mets decide to get serious in the Sosa negotiations. They'll send Cliff Floyd and Steve Trachsel to the Cubs in return for Sosa and Sergio Mitre.

The day after drinking the old egg-nog, Jim Hendry woke up to find that the bush in front of his house was burning, but not like most bushes. So, the burning bush told Hendry that he could only lead his people to the promised land if he shipped Sammy Sosa to Citizens Bank Ballpark.

Sammy is in favor of this deal, figuring a move to a bandbox like Citizen's bank will make reaching #756 a little easier.

While not enthralled with the idea, the Phillies agree that it is divine intention for Sammy to play in the city of Brotherly Love. All the Cubs have to do is ship Sosa, and Michael Barrett to the Phils who have decided to part ways with 32 year old catcher, Mike Lieberthal, with $15 million left on his contract over the next two years. (Also, Hendry insists the Phils throw in a middle infield prospect destined to be a Hall of Famer.)

It appears the Twins deal, discussed on Day Two may fall through, so Jim Hendry brought an equivalent deal to the table with Jeffrey "The Devil Incarnate" Loria (Marlins principle owner).

The Marlins will send Dontrelle Willis and Miguel Cabrera to the White Sox. Mayor Daley will assure passage of a new publicly funded ballpark (to be built in Miami with Chicago tax dollars), and the Cubs will offload Sosa to the Marlins.

John Schuerholz, stupid enough to trade for Sammy Sosa? HA! Even I can't think of a possible (much less plausible) scenario.

(Here is a hint: He didn't win all those titles by trading for washed up, overpaid veterans)

SammyStock 2004! Day One - AL West.
SammyStock 2004! Day Two - AL Central.
SammyStock 2004! Day Three - AL East.
SammyStock 2004! Day Four - NL West.

Posted by Byron at January 7, 2005 2:00 PM | | |

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